Funky New Job

January 4th 2010: Started my first day at my new job. By the end of the weekend (i worked my first weekend), I felt like complete crap. I was burnt out, wondering what the hell I got myself into and why I thought it was a good idea to leave my old job behind. I was suffering from major mental overload trying to deal with all the new ideas and processes, and it just was not fun.

 

Over the course of my second and third weeks, things really slowed down and I had a chance to catch up with myself. I knew there would still be some adjusting to have happen, and I figured I would eventually fall in and life would be cool again.

 

Now, almost 2 full months of working the new job... I am back to wondering what the heck I did. Oh sure, I am making more money, doing less work but life just isn't as cut and dry, isn't as simile as it was before.

 

I seemed to have fallen into a funk and I just don't know how to get out. I am aggravated over small things that I feel are out of my control, when in reality, if I learned how to fix it, I could solve it and be happy... but I just don't give a shit. I don't want to learn about it. This is my third job in this industry and I think it will be my last, I don't like doing this work, I don't like dealing with people in the way I need to. I would rather be doing what I love and not make a profit... if only I could pay the mortgage doing it, I would be set.

 

I figure I have about 5 years doing this, my goal by then is to have a business plan together, the money saved and finally be able to go into business for myself. I might be on anti-stress medication and ADD medication to keep focused and sane, but at least I will be doing what I love.

 

I hope it happens.